With some breaking points about working environment and my significance, my mind has been changed. I'm still working in long hours but have less results. I spent most of the time to think again and again individually. From an energetic discussion about work for moving to the next step, it had been changed to be a report about work with no new information is gained. No cheer up words and solution on the un-handled problems are given. No feeling of desire to see the success of us could be sensed. Problem of the work seems to be my individual problem. I have to be good in doing everything by myself not a team, but it is not mine. Whatever the reason is my less experience or my stupid brain, I am not good in doing everything alone especially the technical idea but I could not request for help. There are some obstacles occurred in working environments as becoming a wall between colleagues.
I cannot tolerate this situation.
It seems to be good that we need not to depend on any and any need not to depend on you, but it is not true for me. You will find yourself have no existence and you will further think that you are no need for the place you work for anymore.
Every now and then, I find myself sitting on the futon in the morning, with my head in my hands, struggling to find the energy to just get up and get dressed – the thought of going to work and being functional is almost overwhelming. No motivation anymore.
While most of us have experienced an episode like the one I've described, for the majority of us, it never goes beyond being a bit reluctant to go into work, or being a little disengaged when we're there. For some, however, these feelings can escalate into something a lot more serious: burnout.