Sunday, September 24, 2006


I have come to this libary two weeeks ago. It is quite a modern library that I have ever seen, the atmosphere inside is also nice. The facilities are quite good especially wireless internet. We can connect without requiring registration, Cool!
The name of Pueay Libary has been heard for a long time but I just tried to come here last week because of some expectation to see something. However, I fell in love with this place for doing my work and also have some expectation to meet something. Hope that all of my work would finish by this place. The place which has both quietness and motivation.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Soulmate Fiction

Hi BloG, long time no update.
This is a human feeling which I want to keep it here.

I want to leave a message to someone if it will reach that one.
I never think that I will miss you so much like this.
I never think that I will do anything for someone as much as like this.
I never think that no one can disturb my feeling much like this.
But you are, you are.

It is not like a boyfriend/girlfriend style of relationship, but for me it is the closed friend style. You know, I never have a closed friend who I would like to share my world with or would like to join someone's world. Mostly, I never concern to other behaviours or feelings that impact to me until I think you should be my precious "soulmate". For my thinking, the soulmate need not to be bf/gf but it should be someone that we are happy to stay and really want to show our real human things. Someone who can accept and understand our best and worse behaviours without thinking about giving up to be a friend. It would be very amazing things that those are the soulmates of each other. The soulmate might be the same as bf/gf but some might not. The soulmate might be the same sex or different sex but there is surely no sexual relationships.

I used to think that you could be my soulmate because you could break down many walls that I have been built for protecting myself from disappointment from walking through people.
I used to think that you might understand me and feel the same as me when I feel lonely and have no one to stay beside.
I used to think that we can go along together as a best closed friend and we will feel happy everyday when we wake up and feel that someone is thinking about us, but it is not true for me, it's not true.

You did not want to share your world with me.
You did not want me to disturb you any trivial when you are working or even care what I am speaking and how I really care you.
I spend full of my mind to make you happy when you feel down even I have to loss something but you never look back at me when I feel the same.
Even, I feel so glad when you called me only when you want to travel, but I still feel so desperate when there is no other calls from you to check up how am I.
I am not your slave but I want to be your accompany. Why don't you take care me as I take care you. I did not expect much from you but I want to be only your closed friend, you couldn't give me that?

I confirm again that I don't want the bf/gf relationship, but I just want a closed friend who are happy to share many things with me and also happy to listen to me. You need not to give me anything just sincerity and loyalty. I know that you might have many friends who you have to join with, and you might not have personal time for me. Indeed, I do not want to steel your time from your friends but would you just let me be one part of your world. Ask me some, how am I. Tell me some what will you do. Invite me some if you think it is possible for me to join your activities. Bring me with you too, because I am always lonely and have no one that I could stay with happiness.

I might ask you too much. You may not possible to give me anything. As I said, "I will not disturb you" unless you do not want me. Do you understand the meaning of it? It means I am ashame to follow you. I feel so guilty with myself why you are so influence with my feeling. I felt hurt from you many many times. However, I have to preseve my last prestige to convoy my speech. That makes me far far away from you because you never need me or care on me. From my thought,, you can cut me out from your life immediately if you want which is the same as the previous people who walked through your life. I do not want to be like that and I also do not want to do like that.

The tide and time waits for no man, why don't we make a good relationships with each others instead of doing some unhappiness things? Or if you don't want the way I am, you just simply tell me once. It would be better for me to hurt only once.

===From Desperate Soulmate Legend=====